Twenty Lessons I’ve Learned in My Two years Of Marriage

The last time I wrote an article like this, I had been married three months. Even though I didn’t claim to know everything at that time, there was a part of me that thought I knew a lot. That part of me knows better now. That said, I’m still learning a lot, but I thought you could learn from what I’ve learned. So here goes:

  1. I married the right guy. Not a perfect one, but one that was right for me; who loves God and gets me.
  2. An unforgiving spirit will kill your marriage. Apologize, forgive and forget.
  3. No two marriages are the same. Don’t constantly compare yourself, your spouse or relationship with others.
  4. Your fights will most likely be about the same old thing. I finally decided to listen to my husband’s complaints and make some adjustments. It turned out good…at least for my fashion sense.
  5. You can change from old habits. The sooner, the better.
  6. There will be challenges; what determines whether they make or break you is how you handle them.
  7. The rules don’t change; husbands, love your wives. Wives, submit to your husbands. Both of you submit to one another in love and submit to God.
  8. In a way, baby changes everything. You must both fight to keep the same what must be kept the same. Never let your child take the place of your spouse. Keep the romance alive.
  9. In a way, baby changes nothing. Character issues you both have will not disappear with the birth of a baby.
  10. Intercourse in marriage gets better with time.
  11. God always provides…except money is your god – then you’re really doomed. Be content, but work hard, work smart, save and invest.
  12. You need more help as your family expands. Don’t be afraid to ask for it.
  13. Balance is possible if the foundation is sure. You can be a wife, mom, minister, business woman etc, if you prioritize correctly and make wise use of your time.
  14. Pray. Pray. Pray and pray. Not just about the relationship, but because being a person of prayer makes you a spirit filled person and with the daily temptations that come with marriage, you need to be spirit filled.
  15. Growing in your personal life as a Christian will help you grow in your relationship with your spouse. If you spend more time in prayer, you’re likely to spend less time in anger.
  16. Discard tactics that don’t work. Ladies, em…nagging hardly ever works.
  17. Be friends with your spouse’s friends, his family should be yours already.
  18. Plan ahead. For family. For ministry. For your careers. But first and foremost be open to God’s plan for your family.
  19. Nothing makes a marriage work as much as the commitment of both parties to making it work.
  20. My purpose isn’t marriage. It isn’t my career. It isn’t even motherhood. It’s Christ. In my loving, in my ‘mummying,’ in my working, I must live in Him, for Him, with Joy!

Thank you so much for reading. I’d love to return the favour and ‘read’ from you too. Please drop a comment and tell me what you think!

74 Comment

  1. Noteworthy lessonshere Pastor Laju. Cheers 🍻 to many more years together in Christ.

  2. Oge C Ogwe says: Reply

    Lessons Learnt! Great piece pst Laju !

  3. Konko says: Reply

    ‘Cause I wanted you to know I was here *wink*
    I read the one you wrote at 3 months and it was every bit as wise as this is. Thank you for sharing.
    P.S.: Put a like feature so we can tap like when we appreciate it and really wouldn’t want to comment. A share button would be awesome too!

    Have an awesome blog ahead!

  4. Jenny says: Reply

    Wow Laju,I’m touched. Thank you for this. I know we learn every day but thanks for the basics…can’t wait to show case all I’m learning. May God comtinue to bless you and your family….Amen

  5. Emmanuel Iren says: Reply

    Good read. Well done babe

  6. Awesome

  7. Adetoun Jegede says: Reply

    Very spot on!👌 u couldnt have said it any better!

  8. Okocha Ijeoma says: Reply

    Happy Anniversary..🎈🎇🎆🎊🎉🙌🙌

  9. Christy says: Reply

    Inspiring and an eye opener for me. More of this is needed.
    Good work.

    1. Bisi Williams says: Reply

      Beautiful! Pastor laju. We really look forward to more of this…and we love you

  10. Bankole Idowu says: Reply

    Blessed… thank you ma.

  11. winnie says: Reply

    Great words ur last point was it for me christ shuld b our focus.well done

  12. Ejiro Abu says: Reply

    As soon as I saw this on IG I knew it had to read it. Well done Laju this was indeed worth reading.

  13. mercy udume says: Reply

    God bless you ma. I have learned from this. Enjoy your home with God.

  14. Onyibe I. Promise says: Reply

    Thank you very much pastor. I’m inspired !!!

  15. Motunrayo says: Reply

    This is awesome. Greater than the first.. I look forward to reading about lessons learnt after 3,4….10 years and more. Well-done Pst Laju

  16. Grace Sonaike nee Akinbo says: Reply

    This is a great piece. With my little experience in marriage (6months, 2weeks, 2days and some few hours) 😉, i concour n I’ve learnt more. God bless u so much 4 ds words. U r truly a blessing 2 our generation. Ur marriage shall never fail in Jesus name, Amen. Well done Sister of God.

  17. Babatunde says: Reply

    Awesome! Thank you, ma.

  18. steph says: Reply

    Thank you Pst Laju.blessd:)

  19. Tito says: Reply


  20. Thank you pastor laju for sharing this with us…..God bless you and your family

  21. Comment
    Thank you Mama.
    You always been a Great example to me and to us In Love and deed.keep Enjoying the Fullest of God Love in your Marriage. Love you ma

  22. Taiwo Adelakun says: Reply

    What can I say, we all have to keep learning and learning and learning. We can’t help it. Thank you ma for that piece, glad i read it.

  23. Awesome…… this blessed me
    Many more fulfilled days ahead to you and your family

  24. Eseose says: Reply

    Mrs Laju, thou speakest truth, seen as well from other godly families I have been blessed to interact with. God bless you 😁!

  25. Crystal says: Reply

    Toms up Sis, well said. Happy Wedding Anniversary! Many more years in Jesus name.

  26. Valerie Aikhionbare says: Reply

    This is absolutely beautiful! Thank you for taking the time to share this!! God bless you and your family and strengthen you for the years ahead! Congrats on your Anniversary!!

  27. Emmanuel Olatunji says: Reply

    Thanks for this piece Ma! #Blessed.
    Congratulations on your Marriage Anniversary.

  28. Stephen Olugbenro says: Reply

    Great Insights! Thanks ma!

  29. Lawal Funke says: Reply

    great tank u ma

  30. Abisola Oloriade says: Reply

    I am touched and blessed….Thank you and God bless you Ma.

  31. Really inspiring and eye opening. Thank you ma

  32. Shola says: Reply

    I was thinking you will mention patient does marriage teach you to be patient?

  33. Bisola Adeniji says: Reply

    Truly true words.You will not fail in Jesus name.

  34. Folu Seton says: Reply

    Thanks for sharing this Laju. Looking forward to reading more. God bless

  35. Esther Moyin says: Reply

    Thanks for sharing dear Laju. It is encouraging. Cheers.

  36. Ibk says: Reply


    1. Laju Iren says: Reply

      Thank you IBK!

  37. Ahre Mishael says: Reply

    Thank you Pastor Laju for sharing. God bless you

    1. Laju Iren says: Reply

      Amen. Thank you so much Mishael

    2. Laju Iren says: Reply

      Amen. Thanks Mishael

  38. Jane Agbarah says: Reply

    Such an inspiration nd enuf lessons learnt.

    1. Laju Iren says: Reply

      Thank you Jane!

  39. Nkechi says: Reply

    *Smiles*… thanks much!!!

  40. Mike says: Reply

    I had a fantastic read
    Thanks Pastor Laju

  41. Fiyin says: Reply

    Thank you Pastor Lady. I am inspired!

  42. Wura says: Reply

    Pastor Laju, you did a great job. I receive grace to put it to practice in Jesus name.

  43. Biodun says: Reply

    I learnt something. Good job ma!
    The world is learning from you.

  44. Omotola Balogun says: Reply

    Great piece Laju!!! Learnt a whole lot.

  45. Andel says: Reply

    Dis is wonderful,,keep it up Mrs iren 😀

    1. Laju Iren says: Reply

      Thank you Andel!

  46. Dessy Onoja says: Reply

    Conjugal Bliss my Dear Friend.

    1. Laju Iren says: Reply

      Thanks my dear CBM.

  47. Durosomo Olusegun says: Reply

    Well packaged and very inspiring ma. Thank you for sharing

  48. Okoye Chioma says: Reply

    I receive grace to apply dis

  49. D. says: Reply

    wise and precise! May God grant u and Pastor Iren many more years in Love.

  50. Thomas says: Reply

    Thank you mama!
    No. 12 – what kind of help ma?
    No. 15 – I love!

  51. Jigah Dominion says: Reply

    Wow!!! Learning… Thanks Pst laju

  52. Ejimadu Chioma says: Reply

    Ha Laju have have never failed to impress me. I have learnt alot from these short and wonderful article of yours. May God increase your wisdom greatly.

  53. Joshua M. says: Reply

    Laju Iren! Really wise words! Thank God for you and for Emmanuel and for your marriage. The 20th point is really powerful and everybody in a marriage should remember that. Thank you so much for sharing this. Continue being a blessing. More Grace!!!

  54. Steven ifeanyi chukwu says: Reply

    A nice piece Mrs pastor. I like how precise and straight forward it was.Hope to read one about training children.cheers

  55. Alumona Victor says: Reply

    Well done mummy!!!
    Nive piece.. Am really learning.
    God bless you ma

  56. PEACE PETER-NELSON says: Reply

    This is an awesome piece
    More Grace Laju

  57. Henry Nwanja says: Reply

    Thanks Laju for this insightful and inspiring write up. It has touched lives far and near. You will always be a blessing to generations

  58. Oluwatosin says: Reply

    wow! well done ma! I learnt a lot. many more years to celeberate. God bless you😊😊😊

  59. Omoregie Deborah says: Reply

    This a good write up. It blesses life. I pray I will be giving mine soonest

  60. Victoria Oluwatumininu says: Reply

    Thank you so much ma for being real and practical in sharing these wise words. More of God’s grace, wisdom and strength in your marriage, family and ministry in Jesus’ name.

  61. Regina says: Reply

    Thank you, Laju

  62. Jennifer says: Reply

    Thanks so much for sharing. Its just a little different from what u shared wen u were 3mths in marriage. They are all words of wisdom. God bless u

  63. Faith says: Reply

    awesome…i’ve been blessed by this…

  64. Debby says: Reply

    truly inspiring. i totally and completely agree and relate with everything you’ve written. this is ” a must read” for every woman. kudos Pst laju. looking forward to more articles.

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  66. Fiyin oluwole says: Reply

    Nice one…

  67. Morenikeji says: Reply


    Thank you ma!

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