When I was younger, I used to say that there were four ‘Ps’ I would never marry: Pastor, Pilot, Politician and Police. Well, we all know how that turned out…in some circles, more people now know me as Iyawo pastor than by my real name. It turned out to be a decision I’m grateful for. Here are four reasons why:
1. The man
Before you’re marrying a pastor, you’re marrying a man. The title will not change who he is. You must still ‘shine your eyes’ before marriage looking out for the qualities you want in a man. Don’t just assume that he will have them simply because he is a pastor. That said, I’m thankful for the man himself. He really loves the Lord, he loves me, and he does his best to make me happy.
2. The call
Dear Christian sister, when you say you can never marry a pastor, you’re saying that whoever you eventually choose to be your husband better not receive a call into pastoral ministry. For a world that desperately needs the gospel, that ain’t right. Why don’t you instead prepare to be a spouse that glorifies God and let him take care of the rest.
Every single individual on the planet has been called to the work of the ministry. A pastor’s assignment is at the core of this call; he is called to prepare others for the work of the ministry. As his wife, my job is to support him. That is amazing. Whether the pay is big or small, whether I get recognized or not, whether I’m in the pulpit ministry or my focus is on the home front, I know I have a higher calling-to support my husband in preparing people for the work of the ministry.
3. The family
I must confess that this particular point is a little self -centred. I mean, you can learn a lot from the others, but this is being written to specifically appreciate the most amazing church family ever-Celebration Church Int’l. Any church can love their pastor, but to do it as much as you guys do and love his (sometimes stubborn) wife too! That’s just out of this world.
4. I’m still me.
One of the reasons why I used to be afraid of marrying a pastor was because of the sometimes impossible standards I had seen many people judge pastors’ wives by. Who can meet up to being the most well dressed, yet most moderately dressed, picture perfect, in shape, perfect mother, perfect wife who serves every meal in time, knows the names of all church members, knows every verse in scripture, career woman, who can preach up a storm, works in children’s ministry, can sing like an angel and of course, never ever disagrees with her husband? Well…no one. I mean, I am quite a number of these things, but not all of them, and definitely not all at once.
I’m glad I’m a pastor’s wife because I realised that I did not need to fill any impossible standards. Of course I must be an example, but my job is to rely on the Grace of Jesus, be led by his spirit, do my best to support my husband, adjust when I realize I’m doing something wrong and always be teachable. I can still be me. In fact, I’m still me; the best version of myself that is bought with a price and led by God’s spirit.