We’ve been dating for three years, but my pastor says I can’t marry him.

Dear Laju,

I’m so confused right now as I type this message, I met my boyfriend 3 years ago and it has been wonderful until now, taking things to the next level became a problem. We prayed about it and got two different answers. My pastor said he isn’t the one and I shouldn’t bother going ahead with the relationship. Meanwhile two other people confirmed my pastor’s statement that I shouldn’t marry him while his said we should carry on that we are both ok. Now the problem is what to do because I had made up my mind even before I heard the predictions. Now he has started giving me attitude and I don’t know why. Please I need your advice.

Hello dear, thank you for your question. You said you had already made up your mind even before you heard the questions. May I ask what you decided? Because eventually it boils down to a decision. In the actual sense, choosing a spouse the bible way is beyond someone being ‘the one’ without whom you will not have a happy home. If two Christians of the opposite sex find the qualities they desire in a spouse in each other, and choose to obey God’s word on marriage, they will have a happy home. God doesn’t choose for you, but with you. You are to know the qualities you desire in a spouse and then prayerfully make a decision till you have a peace about it. It is not a decision your pastor can make for you. He will not be in the marriage with you. This doesn’t mean that his opinion is not important. But if he has reservations about the guy, he would be more correct to state them rather than say the guy is not the ‘one.’ Who are the two other people? Do they know the guy? If so many people, as many as three are telling you not to marry somebody, then perhaps there could be some character flaw or something they know about him that they are not communicating to you. What I want you to do is to take a step back from all the advice, give him some space and consider the relationship carefully both with your brain and in your spirit. I wish you could tell me more about what you mean by him giving you ‘attitude.’ Please don’t hesitate to contact me if you need better clarification.

1 Comment

  1. Fiyin oluwole says: Reply

    Ma? Please what is your about wearing trousers to church has a Lady and covering of hair to church.. About trousers I tell people some one jst woke up one morning nd invented it ..and sed dis is for guys, skirt for ladies.. If fat same person DAT invented it says its for ladies nd skirt for guys we will tk it like DAT.. Dats why I ask d question.

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