BY LAJU IREN
I always say that a break up is not always a bad thing. Last, last, e no fit bad reach divorce. But, on a more serious note, sometimes a break-up is actually a good thing. Sometimes it can safe guard your destiny, save your life and bring you joy. That’s what this post is about. So, dig in and find out whether it’s time to say goodbye to that special someone.
A Crisis of faith
Dear Christian, if you are dating someone, you must be sure that you are on the same page as far as faith is concerned. If your better half is not a Christian, then he or she is not your better half because you’re not made of the same kind of material. Please don’t say he or she is even well behaved than many Christians I know. This is not just about behavior. There are a lot of Christians who are well behaved, please pick one of them. A marriage relationship is the closest you can have to anyone, and Christ should be the most important person in your life. If you and the person you care about the most do not have in common, please break up, thank you very much.
A Crisis of faith
No, this is not here by mistake. I just want to let you know how important this is. If he or she is not a believer in Jesus Christ, please don’t stay in the relationship. There is nothing magical about your love that can change someone who has not be changed by the love of Jesus.
If he is beating you, or she is slapping you, break up. You are doing you both a favour when you leave such relationships; saving your life and the other person from jail. You deserve better, please leave an abusive relationship today.
Bad character traits
He steals, she lies without fear. He loves money, she fights. He lacks respect, she’s rude to family members. He does drugs, she is always drunk…you know a bad character trait when you see one. No one is perfect, but there are some traits you must runaway from. Remember that bad company corrupts good manners.
This is a bad character trait, but I think it is in a category of its own. Not all men cheat. Not all women go after the guy with the bigger wallet. You don’t have to stick with someone with a wandering eye. If you’re married, it would be a different matter altogether. But the good news is…you’re not married yet! You don’t have to cope with that. Please, say your goodbyes.
You see no future
This is a very sensitive point and depends on the situation. When you have had an abortion for a guy, he is not responsible enough to be a husband, please say your goodbyes.
When you both seem to be going in two different directions, it may or may not be time to say your goodbyes. If it’s a career issue, try to figure out how you can make it work before calling it quits. If however you both have different visions and goals for your lives, it might make sense to end things sooner.
Another thing I must point out here is if one party feels like the relationship is not working. It takes two to tango. If someone is really convinced that they want out of the relationship, please let them. If there are things you need to change in your character, do so, but the last thing you want to do is be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you. Even when you’re with someone who wants to be with you more than anything in the world, relationships are still work, how much more when the reverse is the case? So if you’re with someone who keeps threatening to break up with you at the slightest opportunity, please grant them their wish.
Let’s face it. Sometimes, people don’t just ‘jell.’ You may both be wonderful people, but find out that when you come together, you aren’t compatible. This is why I always advise people to be friends first, before rushing into a relationship, to focus on building the friendship in the relationship. Forever is a long time to stay with someone you aren’t compatible with. If you’re already married, make it work. But if you’re still dating, be sure you’re compatible.
What happens when the feelings are gone?
Nearly every couple comes to this stage when emotions wear off and they are just ‘not feeling it.’ That is not the time to rush and break up. At this stage, build the friendship. Focus on what you both have in common. Spend more time together. Figure out the wisest way to solve disagreements, love with your head. When you do this, it’s only a matter of time before the feelings will come back. If you both can get through this stage, then you’ll come out stronger. If however, if after doing everything, you both still don’t have that spark, then you may now consider the alternative.
On family approval
Should you break up when your family doesn’t approve of the relationship? That’s a tricky question. However, I wouldn’t want you to marry someone your family doesn’t approve of. On the other hand, I wouldn’t advise you to marry someone simply because your parents like them. There has to be a balance. What are your parents’ reasons for saying no? Can they be convinced otherwise? If the situation cannot be resolved, especially if you’re a lady, I won’t advise you to go ahead. But that doesn’t mean you should marry the next person they suggest.
If you have an issue like this, I’m open to talk about it. You can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.