It’s was my mummy-in-love’s birthday when I first wrote this post. She has got to be one of the most amazing people on the planet. I did nothing to make her love me. She does, she really really does. However, not every mother-in-law is like mine. Some require much more convincing. So I put together this post to help daughters-in-law and prospective daughters-in-law.
Sincerely care about her
There seems to be a sixth sense about many people that draws them to people who normally care about them. Don’t just ignore her, or pretend to like her. Go out of your way to build a relationship with her. Find out what her interests are, and take genuine interest in them. Call her often, buy her gifts and ensure that your beloved does the same as well.
Treat her like your mum…but don’t
The same way you would honour and respect your mum, honour and respect your mother in law. However, not everyone is the same, definitely not every mother. What your mother might see as a joke, your mother in law might not; and vice versa. So you must also learn to observe her. What are her likes and dislikes? What makes her tick and what can she absolutely not stand?
Love her son
Don’t roll your eyes at me, I know this is an obvious point. What I mean is that it must be obvious to her that you love her son. Say for example, your husband doesn’t really mind whether or not you cook for him often. But his mum, on the other hand, feels that someone who loves her son must cook for him often. Can I tell you something; humour her. Do it more often when she is around. Also, agree with your husband to keep your fights away from his mum, especially if you perceive that she doesn’t like you.
Still on the cooking thing
People say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Sometimes, that’s the way to his mother’s heart as well. Learn to make the favourite dishes of your husband’s family. And just in case you don’t know how to, I can think of someone who can teach you. Yep! You got that right: your mum in love. Ask her if she wouldn’t mind teaching you. You’d be surprised what an amazing bonding experience it could turn out to be for you both.
You see that this is a separate point on its own. It is for a reason. Some women can be extremely sensitive and perceive rudeness in everything. Go out of your way to prove that even a speck of it can’t be found in you. Don’t just respect her, be respectful to those around her. In fact, bear in mind respect is an integral part of any relationship anyway.
Observe her needs and meet them
I’m not saying you should seem condescending and make her feel like a charity case. But there may be one or two things your mother in law might need; they may not necessarily be material things, neither do they have to be big things. It could be a skill, a favour or anything else…she may not ask your help, but just try to be there for her.
Support her son in loving her
I have found that many women I respect are the ones who remind their husbands to send their mother’s money, visit or call. Do everything in your power to support your beloved in loving his mum more.
Even after doing everything I said and more, some mother in laws might still prove difficult. My advice to you? Pray. Pray and pray. Prayer changes things.
I want to conclude with a word to the single ladies. There are some of you that might be dating a guy whose mother has been giving you hell. Find out if the relationship is worth the try in my post ‘Don’t marry him if…’ here on lajuiren.com. There are also some mother-in-laws who insist that a girl must get pregnant before marrying their son. Don’t try it. Premarital sex doesn’t please God and it is better to please God than mum.
Also, some mothers can sense when a girl is just so desperate she wants a man to marry her at all cost. Please keep your self respect. If a man has not proposed to you, I don’t see any reason why you should be going to his family house to do chores. There has to be a balance though, because on the other hand, it is an epic fail when you visit the mother of the guy that you’re dating, you finish eating and expect her to wash your plates. Just be wise please!
Thanks for reading. Please tell me your thoughts in the comments section, as well as helpful tips I may have missed.